Yoo 229 - White Elephant Investing

I went to work this morning.  (as if that doesn't sum up all my days). There was the usual exchange with the coworkers. "Yes, parking was the worst, I'm in the recesses of E garage too, really hate that I had to drive my car in.  Kind of why I grabbed 2 breakfast tacos, you know, all that extra walking."  "I haven't seen that email yet, still trying to log in."  "Yep, I'm sure excited about that Christmas bonus too!"  "I am planning on going to the team holiday lunch today...wait.  That's today?  We were supposed to bring a white elephant gift?!"

Oh dang it.

Worst thing on a Wednesday, right?  The tragedy!

Seriously.  Team white elephant gift exchanges are not something you want to miss out on.  In previous years they've proven to be some of my most solid investment strategies of the season.  I had to come up with something!

"All available resources on deck!"

Ok, so it wasn't that dramatic.  I really just took a jaunt to the company store and bought a $15 iTunes gift card.  But that's the kicker.  The rules state that there is a $20 limit on the gifts.  So just about everyone else spends $20 on either gift cards or alcohol (pretty even spread).  Happy holidays and ho ho ho!  Scrooge here, on the other hand, sees dollar signs.  The less you spend, the more you have to gain.  Usually I'll remember the white elephant gift exchange during Black Friday shopping and buy something really cheap that's still really cool.  But, I was too busy spending money on myself this year (I'm still going to get my Christmas shopping done on time, relax!), so I was left to last-minute strategies.

And the $15 iTunes card was prime.  Because people know that's the typical denomination for those cards and everyone (at work) has an iPhone.  Translation:  the gift receiver is happy and no one thinks you're being really cheap and trying to make money off a work gift exchange.

Because that would be the real tragedy.

(See?  I'm not all that Scrooge-like...)

A bit of duct tape, an old Cheesecake Factory bag, and a couple Hostess snack cakes thrown in for volume and....


...we're in.  I even tied an old Dilbert cartoon on there.  For funsies.

But that's just the start.  The actual exchange can get brutal.  These people are your coworkers so, uh, there are feelings involved.  The real win comes in not caring about the alcohol gifts.  Because they're HIGH demand and great bargaining chips.  The important thing is to pay attention to each gift as it's opened and have a primary focus and several backups.  And, also, be as nonchalant about the gift you currently have, especially if it's the one you want.  Play that poker face.  People are out for blood.  The last round is where it's live or die.  If your current gift is still up for exchange, be fierce.  Know what you want and go for it.  Don't be afraid to intimidate.  Threatening might not be off the table.  Or bringing up owed favors.

Unless it's your boss.  That's kind of a draw.

You might laugh, but I came out with a 33% return on investment in today's game.  And I know my mutual funds certainly aren't bringing me home that kind of cash.

In it to win it, ladies and gents, in it to win it.

Though I did accidentally eat what I thought was a green bell pepper slice at the lunch.  I realized a few bites later that it was actually a Serrano pepper.  There was nothing at the table to put out the fire.  Still haven't decided if it was worth it...

Also, and my more northerly friends will sure fill up bucketfuls of sympathy for this, there's a cold-front hitting. I mean, we've dipped down in the high 20's here people. The 20's!

I'm sorry but the Kyoo appendages are not genetically primed for handling that.  (*nod to the Kyoo mom and her ice feet).  (passing only the best thru the generations, we are).


So, the down booties made their first seasonal appearance. I was trying to be all stealth about it, too. But got caught.

There's really no way to hide down booties.

Especially whilst wearing shorts.

Have a great day :-)