Hey guys, Roscoe here.
This is my eye ball. Not that it matters.
The man-beast I think you call Kyoo is being super boring and I want to go outside and chase things. This post is now in my paws and she says it needs to be about my last experience camping.
Oh that one?
^^ they always pull this weird-looking black toy out and make faces. i'm like "whatever". ^^
These humans and camping. I don't get it! The only part I liked was being in the magical box that moves. Except I had to share my row of seats in that box with a random man-beast and fellow canine AND a box, of all things. Like where was I supposed to stretch out and lay down??
Animal cruelty, is what.
See that? Hugging the center console was more comfortable. Also, I had to savor my last breaths of cool air because camping does not come with an air conditioner.
It's the worst.
Still related, that thing where a piece of the magical box starts to go down and wind rushes in never happened. Hello! How am I supposed to air out my ears and catch bugs in my teeth? Is what I was wondering the whole time.
The man-beasts just made noises. (singing???).
I knew we were camping because they packed the tent. And gave me the "No chasing deer and other animals" talk. Like who do they think I am? Lassie? That's a tall glass of nope. I'm a teenager, yo. Obedience isn't my forte right now.
Besides, there were deer EVERYWHERE. Calming down was not in my cards.
^^ food they didn't feed me ^^
^^ more food they didn't feed me ^^
^^ i have no idea. can i eat this? ^^
I spent a lot of that evening in the magical box that moves except it wasn't moving. Take my word for it though, that's the best place to be when you're camping. Don't even pretend like you're enjoying it. Bark all agitated-like until they stick you in the magical box, and then sit there like a long, silent protest.
Eventually they'll take you home. They can't forget you when you're already in the magical box that moves, is my theory. It's been proven three times now.
Let's talk about the tent. I was confused. They stuck me in the tent and I did not want to be in the tent. The tent is not the magical box that moves! Have I worn that out yet? Should I call it the car now? Car doesn't seem to give it justice. Car shrine?
Right. The tent. I could see the sky from inside the tent! Sky = outside = car. I jumped. Invisible force-field in the way! I jumped again. Foiled! More jumping.
The man-beasts were yelling something at me but I ignored them. I'm really good at ignoring them. They disappeared for a while. There was rustling outside the tent. Suddenly I couldn't see the sky anymore. It felt about a thousand degrees warmer. Whatever they did I hated it.
Then I realized I had a ton of energy. And they were all laying on the floor! Laying on the floor means they want me to play with them. And lick there faces and step on their stomachs. So I did.
Next thing I knew they handed me my blue squeaky toy and pointed to a crumpled up sleeping bag in the corner.
Oh. My spot. I see. And my toy!
I killed that squeaky toy at least 500 times. Which is a good thing because it was TOO QUIET.
You're welcome man-beasts.
Longest night of my life though. I was so bored. Eventually I could see things again and so I politely reminded the man-beasts that it was finally time to pee again. They were not popping out of their cocoons fast enough!
^^ not my house ^^
^^ doesn't have ac ^^
^^ do i look happy to be camping? ^^
^^ cause i'm not. why are we still here?? ^^
Oh wait. I liked this next part. I mean, it was tolerable. Or something. I stopped barking, at least.
^^ man-beast's lap! i call him dad. is that weird? ^^
I'm such a good-looking dog. Tell all the ladies. (just don't mention i've been neutered...still not ready to talk about it).
^^ do you just love my haunches? ^^
^^ how bout now? ^^
^^ ok, this is getting old ^^
^^ i want to run! ^^
Ugh. Am I done yet? This is even worse the second time. Kyoo says I have to explain these pictures and then I'm done.
Here goes. They crammed me in the car again. It moved for a while and I didn't get to stick my head out. Then we were at this place with ginormous rocks. I needed to mark every single one of those rocks!!! But the man-beasts didn't even care. The stupid black toy thing was out again.
For the record, it doesn't squeak and they get rrrrreeeaaalllyyy angry if I get too close to it. Boring!
^^ are they even trying? i can jump way higher. ^^
^^ oh dang it. i look too obedient in this one. ^^
^^ no clue. but i'm hungry. ^^
And that was that! I tried really hard to prove a point but I feel as though it was futile. Mostly because they seemed to be planning their next camping trip on the way home.
Man-beasts. They never learn.
Have a great day :-)
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