Yoo 470 - Our Dream House: My Office

Last night we discovered baby tomatoes on our, you guessed it, tomato plants, and that was exciting.

This morning I ate a combination of leftover chocolate cake and graham cracker frosting sandwiches for breakfast, and that was delicious.

Now I'm going to write all about our dream house. Or at least start with my office.

But first, let me preface this *air quotes* dream house *end air quotes* a bit, if those air quotes don't already sum it up. The Greggerly spouse and I walk and hike a lot together. And to fill those miles with everything but silence, we usually hash out our plans for the future. Which mainly revolve around this house. That, as you can imagine, long ago landed on the very far end of the fetched spectrum and has only "progressed" from there.

With that in mind, I present unto you, the Kyoo Office.

First and foremost, I will have an office made out of an old helicopter that overlooks the kid's playroom. I'll probably call in the Kyoo dad to engineer that one, but it's going to hang from a (very large) corner wall. Not really the tail part, mostly just the front end...with at least one of the blades jutting out. Like it's coming thru the wall without all the explosions and destruction, I guess. But I'm not opposed to it looking like it busted thru the wall. That could be cool, too. It might give the kids a bunch of blocks and rubble to climb on. Or something.

Oh yeah, and this room will have at last 20-foot ceilings to accommodate.

So this helicopter. I imagine it will have a rope descending from it that I can use to climb into the cockpit, and then fast-rope down. It'll be part of my workout routine. Also important, the kids can use the helicopter skids as an indoor jungle gym. It will be really safe.

 via

The pilot and co-pilot seats will each be replaced with very large and very comfortable recliners. All ergonomical and stuff. With heating and cooling and massage. I say two, because I might allow my copilot to accompany me on occasion. But his main office is the library and that's another post.

My side will have two large monitors jutting out of the top of the dashboard and I'll probably have to replace the cyclic stick with a keyboard and mouse, but the navigational displays will stay. Let's not forget the Mac with an infinite hard-drive, either.

 via

Most important, this helicopter will be armed with big guns, sticking out the front and fully operational from the cockpit.

One will be loaded with marshmallows (really healthy marshmallows, like ones that are sugar-free and loaded with protein and fiber and vitamins and minerals and probably fluoride, too, but no weird cancer-causing substances and still incredibly tasty, marshmallows). So when I notice a kid being super awesome, I'll shoot a marshmallow at them. Not hard but, you know, it'll get there. They'll probably catch it in their mouth. Or maybe the dog will jump in and intercept the marshmallow mid-air. There are a lot of possibilities.

 ^^ i'm thinking the guns won't need to be this big...(via)

The other will be loaded with Nerf darts that have punishments listed on them. So when they're being a brat I can (mostly gently...) pelt them with a Nerf dart that instructs them to "take the trash out" or "massage mom's feet for 5 minutes" or "sing a silly song with larry the cucumber" or "do 100 squats" or something else. I mean, these are just ideas...

So I'll have my helicopter and my workstation and I can watch my kids play and praise and punish them with an aim and press of a button and let's not forget there will be Bose surround sound installed in the cockpit, too. And some kind of Siri feature that can decipher and respond to commands like "play that one song with the thinga that goes buh-buh-buh-bah-dump".

I'll probably rarely be in my office, but I'll sure feel like I'm doing something cool no matter what I'm working on.

Wait. This just in. The whole helicopter might be on a flight simulator base so I can actually pretend to maneuver it and have it respond. Probably with real-life landscapes being projected on the windows as I "fly" around.

This is what happens when I have time to brainstorm.

Still on the topic of helicopters, Alisha, remember that one time we took a helicopter tour of New York City on EASST??

There was Keith and then a steal of a deal and then a long wait with much gloating of how "facebook-worthy" it was going to be and then 45-minutes of "ohhhhhhhs" and "ahhhhhhhs" and then this picture fail:

Majorly EASST-trunky right now.

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 348 - And So Begins HELGA

The Alishafriend and I set off on HELGA today. It's our once a year, state sign road trip photo quest.

Last year it was EASST. The Eagerly Anticipate State Sign Trip.

We flew into Philadelphia, rented a car (dubbed tanger prime, a sparkling new toyota camry), and then traveled all along the East coast (of course). State sign acquisition was around 15 and trip miles on the car hit over 4,000 after 10 days.

It was a success.

The year before that it was the Florida road trip.

We only got 6 state signs on that trip. But we camped on the beach for a week and saw a night space shuttle launch. Also a success.

This year we're flying into Chicago, renting a car, and trying to touch just about every state north of I-80 or around the Great Lakes.

It's dubbed HELGA.

HELGA doesn't stand for anything yet. It's just a name the Alishafriend blurted out under the influence of a pizza high and it's stuck

Though the Gregfiance (fiance!) insists it stands for "Highly Energetic Losers Going Away". He's not real thrilled to lose me for a couple weeks. Can you blame him? But I got him a nice little surprise to open once I leave and I'm hoping that softens the blow.

And that's that. Here's to hoping HELGA's a safe, memorable adventure!

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 323 - The New Jersey Story

Happening on the EASST adventure over a year ago now (with the alishafriend), this is the story of New Jersey. Or rather, the story of the most difficult state we've acquired to date.

The first thing to note about New Jersey is, it's expensive to get out of. All the bridges into New Jersey our free. But leaving New Jersey?

That's going to cost you.

Over $20 in our case.

We did accidentally end up on roads that forced us onto bridges during rush hour traffic a couple times...clearly we didn't know where we were going. And New Jersey milked us for it.

Not a good first, second, and third impression.

Our first foray into New Jersey got us this:

A state sign over a bridge. Less effective! Now, we'll pull over in less-than-ideal conditions to grab the pictures, but bridges are kind of an unspoken "No Go". Life value slightly higher than state sign quest.

Bitter that we'd failed on the first attempt (and lost over $20), we were determined to find a New Jersey state sign NOT over a bridge.

One wrong turn and another $4 later, we'd found it. And during the last few hours of EASST too!

The only problem was that it was in the middle of the convergence of several freeways leading onto, you guessed it, a bridge.

I won't detail exactly what we did but, sufficeth me to say, it probably wasn't legal and it definitely was not the safest thing we've ever done.

Ok, I'll give you the short of it:  abandoned parking lot, sketchy part of town (though i'm convinced everywhere in new jersey is sketchy...), and several mad dashes with camera equipment.

Standard pose.

Failed jumping pose.

An attempt to human-letter the state abbreviation.

"Hey Kyoo, which way does J face?"

*dork stamp* 

Apparently I can't process that on the fly!

Go Kyoo.

While these weren't our best pictures ever, they were still pictures with an actual state sign and we were satisfied. Also, remember the area was sketchy.

More mad dashing, praises of gratitude that the rental car (tanger prime) was still intact, and we were ready to go.

Wait, no we weren't. We decided we were hot, so we took our pants off in this abandoned parking lot (shorts underneath, let's not get scandalous here) and then we were ready to go.

I debated relaying the whole story of what happened as we were trying to leave New Jersey, but it's really more scary than it is funny and I don't feel like detailing it online! We learned a valuable lesson that day about how desperate some people are though. And I got a stern talking to from the Gregbeau and probably the Kyoo mom too about taking unnecessary risks.

(but we really needed that state sign!)

I kind of hate to say this but thru it all, I developed less-than-fond feelings for New Jersey! Shortly after the escapade we found out that Camden, NJ (we realized later that that's where we were...) is one of the most dangerous cities in the US. And let's not forget how easy it is to get into New Jersey but how expensive it is to leave! And most of their state signs are on bridges which is so inconvenient. If you know of any redeeming qualities about New Jersey, do share because I can list zero. New Jersey is not favorite!

The Campbell Soup Company headquartered there might lend to a more favorable impression...if I was in love with their soups. But I'm a store band kind of girl when it comes to soup.

In other news, I am pleased to report I have finished filing my taxes like an honorable citizen. And I was 99.9% sure that I was going to owe money this year, but TurboTax worked it's magic and I ended up with a small return. Can't hate that!

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 292 - Good Riddance February

February was kind of a lame month, anyone agree?

Normally I brace myself for a dark and dreary January and then February seems all right after that. But this year the opposite happened. January was all sunshine and adventures and February was like a black hole devoid of motivation, rainbows, and warmth.

Ok, it wasn't all that bad. But I was tragically parted from my phone and my foot hurt and the running weather wasn't all that noteworthy and the days seemed dark and painfully long (though they were actually quite short) and I'm going to stop complaining now.

So what do we do at the height of seasonal depression? Dive into happy memories of yesteryear!

I was browsing through EASST (Eagerly Anticipated State Sign Trip) pictures and decided they fit the bill.

And now, without further ado, a smattering of tales from the folder labeled "Car Shots".

There was a scandal just weeks, nay, days before we embarked on our EASST adventure wherein the Alishafoot became intimately involved with a rusty old nail and the doctor recommended crutches (and a tetanus shot) so her kicker could recover from its fling but she (we) just didn't want that kind of airport headache. So the Alishafriend promised she'd keep it elevated and well, here she is, keeping that promise.

Did I mention she also had behind-the-knee cancer, too? (it wasn't really but we were certain of it at the time). There was a lump. But no worries, she has since made a full recovery.

And, so she doesn't sound like a gimp, the behind-the-knee-cancer was a sports injury.

That one's in the "cool" category.

But of course the adventure bracelet was along for the ride.

As well as the dashboard Sticky Pad. Rub for good luck!

This. Was. A. Tragedy. (the day i didn't rub the sticky pad...) I ripped my pants! Just hours after I'd invested more than $10 on a pair of sweats! Typical Kyoo luck. We were hiking all over, around, and thru a ditch and hill and dale (and construction zone) trying to get to a state sign (new hampshire?) when a piece of wire snagged the seam and wouldn't let go. I was chatting it up with the Gregbeau at the time so naturally I tried to blame him because he was demanding all of my attention but he just wouldn't have any of that.

I wailed.

Alisha laughed.

The Gregchuckler not-so-quietly muffled his cackling.

They tried to shush my cries by telling me I'd eventually be able to laugh at it. I'm still not laughing.

We both looked like this most of the time. Shameless tourists trying to bottle up and treasure every last sight. I'm thinking a nicer camera is going to make my "to buy eventually" list. Because, looking at all these pictures, I realize they're waaaaay nicer than anything my cheap clicker can take.

EAT MORE...ok! There was this excursion wherein we found ourselves cruising the streets on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. And in between missing our turn onto Niagara Parkway (5 times) and having our attentions drawn this way and that on Clifton Hill (the "street of fun"...), we stopped at a 7/11. To stock up on over-priced Canadian candy bars.

They're just better.

More on delicacies like Big Turks and landmark attractions like Niagara Falls later.

Last but not least on today's episode, Road Trip Bingo! One of our best purchases on the trip, I must say. It took us ages to finally spot a mullet and a squirrel...but we succeeded.

There, wasn't that fun?

I feel better. March? March!

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 263 - Overtraining and a bit of EASST

Here are some "classic" signs you might have overdone it in your workout the prior day:

• You instinctively start massaging your glutes as you walk down the hallway at work only to, seconds later, realize you're MASSAGING YOUR GLUTES WHILE WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY AT WORK. <-- no one saw that, right?
• You wince every time you stand up, sit down, lean to the left, lean to the right, walk forwards, walk backwards, open a door, close a door, bend over, chew, or see stairs.
• Just looking at your foam roller makes you cry.
• Your scheduled 6 mile fartlek of jog-sprint-jog becomes 4 miles of hobble-hobble faster-hobble.
• Once fired up and hobbling straight, you find it necessary to give your muscles 5 minutes notice when a change of direction will be required.

I mean, I'm just surmising...if I ever pushed too hard...that might be how I felt the next day.

Ha.  Ha.

If I ever used the phrase "I could beat so-and-so any day!"...today might have been the day I was proven wrong.

But moving on.  Want to hear a funny story?

It starts with this horribly awkward flying picture:

And ends with this horribly swollen finger picture:

(notice the difference in size between my right middle finger and left...and try to pretend I'm not flipping you the bird, also).

I was traveling the east coast with the Alishafriend on our epic EASST adventure last spring and one day realized we were pretty close to the birthplace of flight.  And I thought, "How cool is this??!"  So we had to stop.  And I wanted an amazing picture of me "flying" in front of the statue.  I got all ready, Alisha got situated to snap the shot, she said go, and I jumped as high as I could, spread my wings, looked straight at the camera, and gave it my best smile.  For a little too long.  The ground came up faster than I was expecting and I completely ate it.  My poor finger took the brunt of the fall, popped, and instantly started swelling up.  It hurt so bad!!

When we got back in the car and started driving again, general conference was on.  Specifically, Elder Kent F. Richards was delivering his talk titled "The Atonement Covers All Pain".  Which really hit home to me right then, with a THROBBING middle finger and all.

That poor finger took months to heal and hasn't been the same since.

Want to know the worst part?  You're looking at it above.  The picture of me is all awkward!  It was after my beautiful airplane pose!  Want to see the glorious picture I snapped of Alisha?

Perfect.  But I'm not bitter...

In other news, my birthday week at work has been a great success so far.  Breakfast tacos and cookies last Friday.  Breakfast casserole and cookies on Monday.  And more breakfast casserole, an apple pie, and cake today.  Granted, the cake was for another birthday, but I still got to eat it.  I love it when people love me and bring me food!

And yes, I shamelessly celebrate my birthday for at least a week at work.  Everyone gets real excited for it too and thanks me for having a birthday. (they like the food). (but it's like they're thanking me for being born!).  Isn't that the way it should be??

Also, I tried coconut water.  And I do not hate it.  Though I think it kind of tasted like the plastic bottle.

Have a great day :-)