Yoo 590 - Dream Life, Life

I went on a run this morning and it was pretty painful, to say the least. My left hip flexor was being all vocal about having to function and the ball of my right foot was especially complainy on the rocks and to top it all off my stomach became disgruntled. I'm sure that had nothing to do with the pop tarts and liter of Mountain Dew I consumed on my drive out to Government Canyon but in the name of being an adult I'll take responsibility for it. 

Being an adult is lame!

So I was in pain but I still had 3 hours of running ahead of me and I successfully forced my mind into thoughts about my dream life, spurred by a Colbie Caillat song.

It took it pretty far. 

In my dream life I was a child prodigy triathlete. I qualified for the 2004 Olympics in Athens and took the silver. Fueled by a quest for gold, I returned in 2008 to Beijing and won. Even in my dream life, I still couldn't palate Wheaties without sugar so my face was actually on boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And Papa Johns boxes, but only when you bought the Hawaiian BBQ Chicken pizza. 

I turned down an offer to Dance With The Stars after and instead earned Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Chemistry, cause chemistry is cool. 

I was working on my PhD in New Zealand when NASA called and extended me an interview to join their astronaut training program. It was a pretty awesome interview and I was hired. 

(NASA wasn't dealing with funding cuts in my dream life. their budget was more like the debt ceiling...limitless.)

Then came a couple years of training (including flying a fighter jet!) and one thing led to another and suddenly I was the first woman on the moon. 

What up Neil Armstrong!

I stayed there doing research for 6 months and also ran the first lunar marathon and ultra-marathon. Heck, I actually ran around the whole moon with minimal support.

What up Dean Karnazes! First south pole marathon? I traversed the dark side of the moon!

When I got back I met Greg and we got married and adopted Roscoe and not much was different. 

Except I was still working for NASA and they wanted to research pregnancy and birth in space so I signed up for the mission. 

Do you think pregnancy would be easier in space? I have no idea but I imagine weightlessness could alleviate some symptoms and aggravate others.

But anyways, after having the first space baby I retired and started traveling the world. 

There were more kids and we road-schooled and saw all the things. Eventually space pregnancies became common and some commercial company hired me to be their space doula. I could stay on the ground and assist from anywhere in the world, or travel to space and spend a few nights with Earth floating outside my window. It was perfect. 

 ^^ magical dog ^^

Oh, also, Roscoe was magical and could morph into any animal I needed. Like a horse when I wanted to go riding or a tiger when I needed protection or a unicorn when I really wanted to mess with people's minds. 

Or a small dog when we needed to travel via plane. 

It was basically the best life ever. 

Eventually my mind was spent and the real life suffer fest could no longer be ignored. I still had an hour left when some big guy dressed in fatigues carrying a massive pack came breezing past me. We were at least 4 miles from any trail head so he took all the fun out of feeling sorry for myself and the run sucked even more.

Thousands of crappy seconds later, I arrived back at my car. But not before deciding that my less far-fetched dream job would be running to fuel innovation. Basically I'd just go on a couple long runs a week where I'd let my brain go wild and record all my thoughts and then some company like Google would pay me tons of money for the raw, crazy ideas. 

It'd be their engineers' job to make something of it but I'd probably be willing to consult a little during the process.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 467 - Bad News and Batman

 ^^ some spring-ish photos to brighten the mood of this post until we get to batman

My internship was so easy to get. My boss at my college job begged asked me to go to an information session for this company so there would be enough people there. I found out they were serving pizza and agreed. One quick interview and the next thing I knew I was on a flight for more interviews and a campus visit in San Antonio.

(the company was great, but it was 81 degrees when we landed, compared to -5 degrees in Idaho, and that might have sold me a lot bit).

A couple weeks after my campus visit I had an offer for an internship with a Fortune 200 company.

And I accepted.

At the end of my internship I had a full-time job offer and never looked back.

(it really was a tad more complicated than that but time has drizzled a generous sugar coating over all those memories).

Fast forward six years and it's an entirely different struggle experience this go-round with the Gregman. Almost like he's paying the price for my internship/post-college employment ease and I'm along for the ride. Except in the passenger seat where I have no control other than an imaginary brake and the freedom to voice unsolicited driving advice.

In the past two months while I've been crossing my fingers, building up a lot of hope, and mourning one cancelled camping trip, he's been filling out dozens of applications, interviewing 7 different times, attending day-long campus visits with several companies, and calling and returning calls.

Not to mention spending a lot of time in that suit of his...I guess I'm not complaining about that.

But what came of all this? Nothing but rejection. And some extensive interview practice, if we must find a silver-lining.

He made it to the final rounds on all of his interviews and we received word from the last couple companies over the weekend that they were "pursuing other options".

"Uh, yeah...so are we...apparently..."

Except we have no other options right now.

Feels awesome, is what.

Ok, felt awesome. Greg spent a few days being annoyingly in control of his emotions and I spent a few days being annoyingly NOT in control of mine. So now we're balanced out to being ok with it.

Just a "what the deuce??" blip on the life radar now.

I'll take a few days with really bad news, but if I'm going to let something ruin my life it's going to be something extraordinary. Like getting bit by a rabid dog in the middle of Africa right after I incredulously exclaimed how "that would never happen!"

(shout out to the alishafriend!)

I might let that ruin my life ;-)

Not this though, because...Batman.

via

"And why do we fall, Bruce?"

"So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Bam.

So here's us adding to the pile of struggles and disappointments and sacrifices over the last few years that are going to make the Gregman's graduation one sweet relief.

Cause him graduating is going to solve ALL of our problems and we'll prance off into the sunset with unicorns and buckets of candy!

But back to reality.

The summation of that epic stretch of a comparison is thus: Batman got the girl in the end. A different girl, but she was waaaaaay cooler than the first girl. Also, I guess you could add that he saved Gotham and was finally remembered as a hero, too.

And Alfred. I love Alfred.

So here's to hoping this fall's round of "Hall for Hire" is like the end of Christopher Nolan's Batman?

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 418 - Pondering Justin Bieber

These texts pretty much sum up my morning:

"Ruined my oatmeal with too much cinnamon."

"I had to buy a taco to compensate. It's been a rough morning."

"Might have to eat a cookie to gain respect for oatmeal again."

But how lucky is the Gregdude to find that play-by-play on his phone? Is what you're thinking.

The rest of the day wasn't too bad, despite what my gnawed-off fingernails would tell you. Typical Monday.

(someone please pinterest that on a "reality" board).

Now let's ponder the Biebs for a moment. Because I no longer need to waste my mental resources on boys nor my Friday nights on dates. Bear with me.

So, Justin Bieber.

Catchy tunes. Cheesy lyrics. Big names. His music sells. Don't judge.

One thing led to another and I found myself jamming to a bit of Biebs Friday afternoon. Most people had left the office so I didn't have to worry about getting caught.

Because head-bobbing to Justin Bieber is not something coworkers just forget about over a weekend. You don't live that one down.

Anyways, there I was, focused on work, when these lyrics caught my attention:

"But, the grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it."*

And I thought, now isn't that a bit metaphorical for a pop song? Borderline life-changing, if you have dehydrating tendencies towards your figurative grasses. Or even your literal grasses.

These were my ponderings as I began my evening run. I often run when I have ponderings to ponder (and also, occasionally when i lunch on entirely too much pizza). Unrelated interjection: I feel as though sitting at work for 10 hours makes the warm, golden evening sun far more savory. How it tickles my skin and dances across my face! It's as if my office hours accumulate to buy that kind of solar treat.

But back to my run. There I was, on the part of my path that I like to pretend is Sherwood Forest, when I saw these stagnant pools of water in the grass. Stagnant pools of water, brought on by a summer of drought and a recent weekend of downpour.  Stagnant pools of water that were harboring hundreds of buzzing mosquitoes.

And I thought, what now Bieber??

Obviously there's a fine line between watering your grass and creating a breeding ground for mosquitoes. I think it has something to do with consistency, but it could go so many ways. Maybe he should expound on that in his next song.

Does this not leave you with more to ponder though? Maybe as you "chill by the fire and eat fondue"?

I would elaborate but my pondering was soon interrupted by a near-encounter with a baby rattlesnake. It took me all of .000000482 seconds to remember that baby rattlesnakes come from full-grown rattlesnakes, have brothers and sisters, and are competent and venomous from birth. My run was over after that.

*technically this part of the song was big sean...

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 414 - Sunday Morning, Rain Is Falling

I'll admit it, the Gregman has me listening to talk radio. It's still a toss-up between Pandora and iHeart Radio on any given work day, but the fact that it's in the mix is somewhat noteworthy. Now, talk radio was regularly playing in the Kyoo home on any given childhood afternoon, but I haven't willingly listened to it since.

Chalk another mark in the "Growing Up" column, perhaps.

The point is, news is scary! Reading an article every other day about this riot or that politician is one thing. Listening to hours of statistics and in-depth details and news clips and conservative opinions is kind of terror overload most days.

Oh to be an ignorantly blissful child again!

(this is me running off to read calvin and hobbes.)

via

(back.)

But I think it's important to be informed and it's having a way of making me cherish the now more than I ever have.

Like waking up on a Sunday morning, next to my favorite man, with a steady, persistent rain falling outside. That is something special, bed head and death breath aside.

(those movies that show romantic mornings of cuddling and silky, slightly tousled hair are some of hollywood's biggest lies, according to this kyoo. there is a strict personal space boundary to be observed until teeth have been brushed and bladders have been emptied in this home.)

Now, let me gush just a bit more about this rain for a second. Because rain! In south Texas! Lasting clear thru the morning!

This is ONLY exciting because it rarely happens. And that's just how I like my weather. Generally sunny, hot days, with a good rain or blizzard thrown in to keep me on my toes. Lightning storms are acceptable every evening after 10pm. Wind and thunder, you are only allowed during regularly scheduled work hours. Ice is never welcome.

 

(important note: i now consider this a blizzard...don't get too carried away).

But back to the post and how I think I've happened upon some grand epiphany or something.

I haven't really but I'm loving each small moment more and more. Like my Gregcook yelling up the stairs, inquiring about the correct marshmallow to cereal ratio in rice crispy treats. Or our mandatory kiss before parting ways each morning, cause we can't be sure what's going to happen that day. Banana pancakes must be mentioned. And sitting on my patio right now, blogging this lazy evening away while the sun sinks into the horizon and my Gregstudent finishes class.

I think I've even grown fond of the construction on our street with the THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD BEEP BEEP BEEP bulldozer alarm clock every morning.

There's so much going on, good and bad, in this world. But to me, more and more everyday, it's the moments in my home that are gold. Roll your eyes just a bit because I'm getting older and more sappy with each passing hour, but admit that we all have at least a little control over what happens in our homes.

And if we make it good.

Maybe the news will be a little less scary!

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 370 - Shadow & Me

My dog died yesterday morning. With her cute puppy head resting on her paw. I'm told it looked peaceful. I knew she was getting old and struggling to breath. And I'd been living away from her for years. But she was still my puppy.

Shadow. Shadrick. Pupper-doggy. Whatever we were calling her that day.

I found out at work. In the restroom. While I was perusing facebook. (lesson to myself not to peruse facebook at work...). The Gregdude and Kyoo mom had debated earlier that day who would drop the news and when. They both decided it was better to wait until I was home from work.

But one of the Kyoo sisters unknowingly posted it on facebook and the news was out.

I was strong for all of 7 seconds. Telling myself I could cry and think about it later. And then I saw a picture of her and started bawling. Still very much in the bathroom at work. I stood there for several minutes trying to contain the scene before giving up and dashing down to hide in the locker rooms. There I cried for a long while. Then hopped on a treadmill and ran until my tears just looked like sweat.

I loved that dog.

Except for all those times she got out of her kennel and decided her life could not continue until she'd visited every bush in the neighborhood on her own personal puppy-trot-about. (like a walkabout but for dogs). Whoever was there to witness would call her and call her and she would just dash away with her mischievous "aren't i so cute?? just try to catch me!" dog face.

That's when we'd decide she was Morgan's dog and tell her to go catch the rogue canine. Morgan loved that! Ok, mostly we loved watching her try to chase Shadrick down. Eventually we'd offer her (Shadow, not Morgan) a piece of bread and if that didn't do the trick, we'd start up the van and make her think we were going for a ride.

Silly dog.

She was my running buddy growing up. Early morning high school track workouts, training for my first marathon, lazy evening jogs? Shadow was with me.

She'd go exploring in the ditches and run through the cornfields while I pushed onward. Ever-so-often she'd sprint to catch up, coming at me with purpose, like I was the only person in the world that mattered.

It was always really exciting when she came bearing gifts, too. I mean, she usually came bearing gifts. But moost of the time it was the fact that she'd found water and she'd wait until she was trotting right next to me to shake it all out.

"Thanks for sharing puppy!"

My favorite was the time she found a deer carcass...and then proudly, with her head held high, galloped on home by my side, with a deer leg protruding from her mouth. She acted like it was the biggest honor of her life, carrying that deer leg.

Shadrick had a personal goal to never sit still and look cute for pictures, so long as she knew we were trying to take a picture.

Family pictures with Shad always looked like this.

 

The few times I got to come home after leaving for college, her kennel was always one of my first stops. She'd bark a few times before realizing it was me. And then she'd just go crazy and lick me and let me pet her like no time had passed at all.

Dogs are cool like that. Shadow was cool like that.

I'm sure gonna miss ya, pupper-doggy. You were our first and only family dog! We begged and pleaded for years for you and loved your stinkin' cute face and paws from the very first night. I even remember your mischievous times with fondness now. And all the times we snuck you in the house to chill with us, despite what the repercussions would be if the Kyoo dad found out. May you find many cornfields to explore and deer bones to chew in the next life!

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 341 - Deadlines

I hate deadlines. They're pesky and foreboding and they loom. They just loom! Causing all sorts of stress and woe and churning fret and worry.

They're also the cause of procrastination. I mean, without deadlines, what would we be procrastinating? Nothing! We'd simply be doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it.

So why can't I just get things done when I get them done?

Answer: because I'll never get them done. And some things I don't want to do are worth doing.

My mind knows this and sometimes sets the most silly and ridiculous deadlines for obscurely important things.

Case in point: rotting pumpkins and my backyard/porch.

This is the after picture, my friends. The after of what was before the thickest of weed forests and the home of 4 rotting pumpkins. Pumpkins that may or may not have still been sitting out from Halloween. As in, last October's Halloween.

I'll do the math for you. That's about 7 months.

Seven months of walking past those pumpkins everyday, watching the decay process slowly morph them into thriving maggot nests and what probably would make a most nourishing fertilizer.

I was always going to clean them up tomorrow. Or hope that the Katieroommate would clean them up.

But alas, it never happened.

UNTIL. One day, the Gregbeau informed me that he had signed us up to feed the missionaries. It was to be on a Wednesday. And instantly my mind set into motion and equated: feed missionaries = deadline to clean back porch/pumpkins.

Irrational thought process but my mind does these things.

So, there I was, early last Wednesday evening, scraping dead pumpkins off my porch and begging the Gregmower to come over early and hack down my weed jungle. All while my roast was roasting and my brownies were baking.

It wasn't the most convenient of times to go on a back porch cleaning spree, and I probably smelled like bleach for dinner (rotting pumpkins require a bit of cement scrubbing, assisted with household chemicals...) but a deadline is a deadline and they get me moving.

Usually at the last minute, but progress is progress.

Now if only I could fuel that kind of motivation for work deadlines...

In related news, my roast was delicious. Only the second I've ever made and I'm kind of in love with the high return on investment. Just a few minutes in the morning and voila! dinner. Thanks again to the Katiefriend for actually turning the slow cooker on...

Critical step I maybe overlooked.

In unrelated news, this was spotted in a Chick-Fil-A restroom recently:

And they were real. A fresh floral bouquet in a fast food restroom! Yet another reason to love Chick-Fil-A. (closed on sundays and waffle fries being others worth mentioning...).

Have a great day :-)

Yoo 333 - Thoughts of a Troubled Sleeper

 I spent most of today (all of the workday) trying to keep my tanger (tired anger) in check. It consumed me. Coding problems that I excitedly tackled yesterday seemed completely insurmountable today and pushed me down. Project deadlines that usually spur me to action made me want to scream and collapse on the floor in a full tantrum. Coworkers I normally revel in spending the day with were pesky moths trying to dive bomb my open door.

Except my door was closed, people. Headphones were on!

I hate being like this. I am a happy person! I'm grateful for my able body and my challenging job with a great company and for my own little condo and for the many, many people I love that love me back. I usually remember these things. They make each day exciting and spontaneous. They remind me that all the ups and downs of this life are experiences I need. They're experiences I wanted from the very beginning.

It's mortality, yo! We're here! We're in the game, being tested and (hopefully) slowly growing into better, more component beings. Proving that we can love and obey and help others do the same. Faithfully striving with the hope that we'll one day be worthy of a pretty terrific hereafter. If you believe in that sort of thing. I sure do.

Oh but this mortal body. Such a strong and able blessing, yet with a myriad of homeostatic balances so easily broken.

(unbalanced house...? it's an attempt at a picture simile...)

It's a constant struggle of different struggles. Right now I'm battling sleep. Sleeping used to be so easy for me! Bed time? Ok, Kyoo was out like a light.

But something has changed in the past month and my body does not know when to sleep. Every other night or so I'll either lie in bed for hours trying to fall asleep, or I'll wake up at 2 in the morning unable to fall back asleep.

I'll try everything, too.

I'll put on soothing music.

I'll eat a small snack when I realize how hungry I am.

I'll drink warm chamomile tea.

I'll count sheep.

I'll count sheep again.

I'll avoid my computer and other light sources.

And then when I get really desperate, I'll turn to books.

Books never used to fail. Especially textbooks and other non-fictions. (non-fictions is unfortunately synonymous with "scriptures" here, sad but true). All would have me heavy-eyed and head-bobbing in less than 5 minutes.

But nothing works anymore.

Last night I was unable to drift back into dream state until after 6 this morning. And then I was a tangry zombie, cursing that 7am alarm and my now unwelcome dreariness.

"Oh, NOW you want to sleep body?? Nice."

It bothers me that something as simple as not getting enough sleep can have such a drastically negative affect on everything that is Kyoo. My mood, my outlook, my motivation, my desire to do and be all things that are goodly, lovely, and praiseworthy.

It's like nothing matters when I'm tired except getting more sleep.

It shouldn't affect me so much, but it does. I guess that's just where I am on my progression to perfection. I get to keep trying to master this mortal body and one day, I'll look back on days like today (and soooooo many other days...) and think "Wow, look how far I've come!".

DISCLAIMER: I did not do anything particularly horrendous today! I just felt horrendous and had a bad attitude that I couldn't shake.

Have a great day :-)